Monday, August 4, 2008


(I posted this on my family blog, but then realized that I do have friends with experience in this field so I thought that I would post it on my blog as well)

Ok, so this is kind of funny, but seriously I am asking for some advice here.

Don't know how many of you have seen the cover article for the Ensign this month, but it is all about how to cope with being single. Anyway, my bishopric feels very strongly that our wards need to really hear this message and selected a few people in the ward who they feel are living happy productive single lives to share their experiences with the ward in relation to this article. And for some reason they think that I am one of these people. Apparently they don't know me as well as they think that they do.

I honestly avoided the article like I do most articles of that nature because really I never feel like they say anything new and you know that they were written by either therapists or married people. But I gave in and read it last night knowing that I have to speak on this subject next week.

The article makes a few good points, but still nothing new. But it uses the word cope and dealing with loss in relation to being single and I guess that I have never really felt that way so I don't understand that. I don't fee like I cope, I just live my life and I don't feel like I have lost anything, just that I don't have something yet that I want. So I guess I have a hard time relating to people that do. Granted, I am not thrilled to still be single with no real prospects, but I don't see the point in being miserable about it either. I have bad days, but the good ones are much more frequent.

What they have asked all three of us to focus on is the first subsection of the article about acknowledging and dealing with the pain. Not sure what that means . . . but I feel like you acknowledge and deal with it by living your life your way and making goals besides just getting married and having a family.

Anyway, help please. Please if you get a chance read the article and let me know what you think or any insights that you may have. I am really not sure where to go with this.

1 comment:

Cristall said...

It's the same thing I go through being a married "kid-less" member. I'm not depressed about it, but feeling like I don't belong at times does get old. I deal with "the pain" as the article calls it by going on a minitrip with Matt on Mother's Day weekend to get away. Also, I allow myself to feel sad if that comes up, acknowledge that sadness, then move on. I enjoy the stage of life I'm in now (painting, no babysitters, spontaneous schedule). One must try to enjoy the stage they're in if they can't easily change the circumstances. If I mope about being kid-less (or you would theoritically mope about not being married) you miss out on what opportunities you DO have. Hope that helps.